


Love Don't Cost A Thing(But A Date Does)

by J_EnotsoLovely



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Charity Auctions, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Sanji's a Chef, Zoro's a dude
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:28:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27624740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_EnotsoLovely/pseuds/J_EnotsoLovely
Summary: Fuck Kidd.That was it.That was all Sanji could think.Because the asshole promised him a fuck ton of cash if he did this stupid shit.And the smart motherfucker made sure to say it when his lovely, gorgeous, perfect Nami-swan was in full earshot.
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 16
Kudos: 107





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Have this. Im mildly delirious but you know..its cool. xD

_Fuck you Kidd._

That was all Sanji could think as he fidgeted behind the closed curtain.

He couldn't believe that he was actually going through with this blasphemy. Like hell this was a Fundraising Public Relations activity. If you asked him, it was just an excuse for any old fogey with enough cash to go around buying and selling human beings like thy were objects.

 _Charity Dating_ : **Bullshit** at it finest.

Sanji scowled, deepening to a dark glower when he saw Kidd turn and smirk at him. The man glided over to where he was standing, his bright amber eyes glowing in the semi-dark room.

"What's wrong Blackleg?" He snarked haughtily, obnoxious red hair slicked back and too the side in a way that was much too stylish for the fucking Neanderthal. "Worried you might not receive many customers?"

Sanji flashed a cocky grin at him and raised an eyebrow, figuring that now was as good a time as any to summon his deeply-- ~~okay maybe not so deeply~~ \-- buried inner fuckboy.

"No idea what you mean baby _doll_." He drawled, running a hand through his blonde locks to rough it up a bit, hating the messiness, but knowing he looked better that way.

"I'm just worried that I might end up having _too many_ contenders. I, being the chivalrous man that I am, wouldn't wanna break anyone's heart now would I? Its cruel, and not so good for "public relations" now is it? Besides,"

He paused a moment to wink at a passing stage hand, who looked to be around his age, maybe a little older and relished the way the she blushed, before returning to brash mechanic who was standing still, arms crossed in perpetual annoyance. "I'm an all around kind of guy, so it'd suck for _you_ if I took away all the women."

"Lucky for you that I'm into men then, wouldn't you agree _?_ " Kidd mocked snidely, turning his nose up and sulkily stalking away before Sanji had a chance to retort. 

"Well, he certainly _is_ cute. In a thuggish sort of way." A woman walked up to him, her black stilettos clicking on the lithium floor as she grabbed the blonde by the face, pulling them close enough to share a breath and she laughed softly as Sanji's cheeks heated from their proximity.

The woman was pretty, with blue eyes bright enough to rival his own and contrasted nicely with the deep bronze skin. Her long raven hair feel neatly over her shoulders, bangs obscuring that alluring gaze from view.

The model watched, his mouth slightly agape as she sashayed away, unable to take his eyes off her lithe frame and swaying hips. The short black dress she was wearing left nothing to the imagination but holy _fuck_ the reality was even better.

~~_Goddamn she's hot._ ~~

"You should join the Ohara Modeling Company." The woman called, flashing a sultry grin over her shoulder before striding after Law. "We could use you as our poster boy."

"He will do nothing of the sort you scheming woman." Came a low, monotonous voice and Sanji looked to his right, making eye contact with Trafalgar Law, aka: Surgeon Of Death. The chef held in a whistle. It seemed like a lot of big shots had come out the woodworks for this event. 

At least it paid well. 

"You know that lovely woman?" The blonde asked, tilting his head in the direction the lady had taken.

"She is Nico Robin, also known as Devil Child, Owner and CEO of the Ohara Modeling & Co. She is a distant acquaintance of mind and has been trying to convince my boyfriend to join her idiotic group." The man groaned, bringing a hand over his face. "One day I will dissect her. And make sure I _don't_ use antiseptic. Crazy woman would probably find the whole thing fascinating anyways."

" _Alright_ then....." Sanji trailed off, warring with himself on whether or not to ask for an elaboration.

He decided against it and went with a different route of conversation. 

"I'm, surprised your here Law, you didn't strike me as the type to do something like this."

"I am not. In fact I rather hate this idea. I have a thing against against ownership. But that idiot Luffy insisted that I join. He said that it would be an easy source of income and I should "get the money so I can buy him some meat". And for some reason he believes that many young girls would be interested in dating a sleep deprived doctor for a day."

Sanji laughed. Law was so serious that it made the things he said ridiculously funny.

"Dude," he wheezed out between breaths, "You _have_ looked in a mirror before, haven't you? I mean, tall dark and handsome's not really my type, but I'd be lying if I said you weren't smoking, maybe even hotter than Miss Nico o'er there, though if you ever tell anyone I said that I'll deny it. Still though don't you ever get fanmail?" Sanji tilted his head, placing his hand on his heart comically. _"Oh, Mr. Trafalgar, thank you for saving me. Please, if there's ANYTHING I can do for you, let me know. And I mean ANYTHING."_ He said, pitching his voice higher as he nudged the man, eliciting a small snort.

Then came the short reply.

"I burned them all."

"What the hell LAW? _Why_?"

"Because they came from people who only value my face and could care less about anything else. It is why I despise the fact that I have to do this, but Luffy asked me to and so i'll do it. And when everything is over I kill every last person in here."

Clearly the guy had an death addiction. Was that surprising?

He placed his hand on the raven head's shoulder and grinned, still feeling somewhat anxious about the event to come. 

"Hey man, look, I'm all for it. Just make sure that I'm actually out and safe before you go on and destroy everything okay?"

Then then the darker male smiled.

Fucking _smiled_.

It was a small grin, near non-existent, but it was there.

"I'd think you'd be fine Blackleg-ya. You're strong."

Again the blonde laughed, his nerves suitably soothed. He'd never imagine that it'd be stoic, old man Law to calm him down but he wasn't complaining.

"OKAY EVERYONE, PREPARE YOURSELF, THE AUCTION IS ABOUT TO START. PLEASE ASSEMBLE AND WAIT UNTIL THE ANNOUNCER HAS CALLED YOU TO COME OUT ON STAGE. I REPEAT THE AUCTION IS ABOUT TO BEGIN."

The contestants---Sanji refused to objectify them---lined up and for the first time since he arrived to the arena, he surveyed the crowd.

Nico Robin.

Trafalgar Law.

Chopper, though he seemed to only be monitoring the affairs.

Portgas D. Ace, the firefighter. Classic.

Maroc, the firefirghter boyfriend, if what the papers said were true.

Kidd. That asshole.

Himself.

Kaya, Usopp's pretty girlfriend.

And Nefertiti Vivi. A real princess, lovely girl indeed.

_Fuck you Kidd._

That was all Sanji could think.

"You okay there? You don't have to do this y'know. We have more than enough people."

Chopper looked up at him, finished checking on the other other participants and gazed at the blonde with imploring hazel eyes that were wide with concern.

Sanji thought of Nami, thought of her wrath and shuddered in fear before looking down at the young doctor intern.

"Trust me kid..... I do."

_Fuck Kidd._

That was it.

That was all Sanji could think.

Because the asshole promised him a fuck ton of cash if he did this stupid shit.

And the smart motherfucker made sure to say it when his lovely, gorgeous, _perfect_ Nami-swan was in full earshot.

_Fuck you Kidd. Goddamn it._

Sanji did not get paid enough for this shit.

But then, thats why he was there in the first place, wasn't it?


	2. Chapter 2

Zoro was nervous. 

Really nervous.

Then he was disgusted.

For being nervous.

And it was all the old man's fault.

He cajoled Zoro for days on end, telling the renowned swordsman/model to participate in the auction, bribing him with unlimited sums of cash to use until he had no choice but to succumb.

The green haired teen fidgeted apprehensively, his amber eyes peering up at the stage in concealed earnest. Unsurprisingly, the place was packed full of hopeful buyers, and Zoro could feel himself being mercilessly jostled around despite his dark glare, only his deeply ingrained agility keeping the gift he bought from getting crushed.

A single red rose.

How _cliche._

And the only thing that Zoro could think to give.

He stared down at the small plant and tried not to feel foolish.

_Did Sanji even like flowers?_

_Sanji._

The word sounded eerily foreign, even in his own thoughts. He had yet dared to say the name aloud, fearing that if he did, then the chef would disappear as though he were a phantom in the wind.

He wished that he could take off the stupid hat he was wearing but both Zeff _and_ Koshiro had be insistent about him keeping it on.

_"You're vegetable looking ass is too obvious. Wear the damn hat." "You're rather famous Zoro, with both your modeling and kendo career. Unless you wish to be chased, I suggest you keep as low a profile as possible. And when they realize who you are, run like hell."_

The teen growled lowly, pulling the cap further over his seafoam locks and looked out at the stage his heart thumping when Chopper walked out, cotton candy in hand, and silenced the crowd.

"Hi! Welcome to the first ever Charity Dating, hosted by the New World & Co." The brunette smiled, his hazel eyes wide and looked over his shoulder, to the curtain that ruffled slightly behind him.

"I will begin announcing the participants one by one and as per a typical auction I need you to shout out some prices. Whoever has the highest bid gets the prize!"

The audience cheered and Zoro felt a bit of sweat roll down his brow.

"If you're ready.." Chopper began, his gaze mischievous. "The first person will now come out... Trafalgar Law, also known as Surgeon of Death. Don't let his dead inside appearance fool you, he's definitely a man worth taking out ...."

* * *

-+-

* * *

Zoro was so fucking tired.

And his nervousness had yet to subside.

So he was tired.

Nervous.

And once again disgusted with himself.

For being tired and nervous.

Then on top of all that, when Zoro saw Sanji, he almost fainted. Though if anyone ever asked he'd deny it.

The chef's hair was ruffled, like he'd been continuously running his fingers through it and his creamy skin held a reddish tint, an uncomfortable blush. He was shuffling from side to side like some sort of toddler, his toned pearly arms glistening, finally free from the confines of the stiff button ups the older male usually wore and instead in a loose fitted sleeve-less tee. That was accompanied by worn jeans and a blue and yellow flannel tied around his waist. The dress shoes remained.

The blonde looked miserable, his cerulean eyes darkened in disapproval, though the smile he shone was damn near blinding.

It angered Zoro. That something that clearly made the chef upset.

He didn't know why, but for some reason the martial artist was filled with the desire to...to...to......

_Confess._

The word rang in his mind, almost as foreign and unfamiliar as saying Sanji's name.

_Confess_

Shit. 

They were right.

They were all fucking right. 

Somewhere deep inside, he always wanted to be with Sanji.

_Well, there's not time like the present._

And rescuing a fellow uncomfortable teen was a great way to start....whatever that thing was called.

Romancing and all that.

"Let's start the bid." Chopper's voice rang out and Zoro took a deep breath before bellowing at the top of his lungs.

" HAHA I CAN TRIPLE ANYTHING YOU IDIOTIC DIPSHITS THROW OUT THERE!!!! SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAND HIM OVER."


	3. Chapter 3

"HAHA I can triple anything you dipshits throw out there, so you might as well hand him over!"

-

 _Who the hell_ was _that guy??_

Sanji craned his neck, looking into the crowd for the source of the voice. It was unnervingly familiar and something about it put him on edge. His brain was screaming at him to _remember_ but it was to no avail.

"Come on! Quicken the pace. Either place your bid, back out, or just fucking _hand him over_ already. I have the entire day planned so hurry it up!"

The blonde felt heat rush to his face, stuck somewhere between being flattered and being utterly confused. The arena was completely silent and Sanji resisted the urge to shuffle his feet. He could feel an intense pressure emanating from the center of the crowd, the people around moving aside to distance themselves from the malevolent aura and Sanji found himself staring into sharp golden eyes. 

_Zoro?_

His lips formed the word without his consent and though the blonde knew he hadn't spoken out loud, he saw the model's eyes go wide with surprise and the tan teen even took a half step back.

Sanji's feet followed, taking one, then two, three, four, ten, twenty, thirty steps until he was standing directly in front of the other. He tried to ignore Zoro's surprised expression, stupid green hair that was shoved under a hat, and tall imposing figure that somehow seemed to shrink into something childish.

The chef crossed his arms, jutting a hip out. "So?" he started, smirking at the way tan teen startled. "How much are you offering Marimo? We don't have all day right? And to be honest with you, I kinda want to bust this joint."

"However much you want." Zoro responded, seeming to find his footing and shot his own smirk.

Sanji grinned.

"Good answer, I'd hate to have ta kill you fer giving too low a price." The chef glanced over his shoulder. "Ey Chopper, I'm gonna go with this stapping young lad over here, yeah? Send me a price and I'll wire it over to you, courtesy of the Mosshead."

The brunette nodded, his hazel eyes large and serious, before turning back to the crowd. "Okay guys, coming in next: she's powerful, she's sexy....wait I'm too young to say that....she's an _extremely_ attractive woman and one look from her dark blue eyes will have you wanting more!"

Sanji tuned the boy out, smiling as Zoro stared over his shoulder, presumably at Robin.

"Yeah, she's hot, I know, but could you stop staring? You're gonna make me all _jealous_." The blonde said, dragging out the last sentence with a sultry pout and whine.

But then the model turned to look at him, and the sincerity in his gaze made blood rush right to the chef's face.

"I wasn't looking at her. I was only surprised at the fact that they're just letting you go. I'm almost offended on your behalf Curly." Zoro smiled widely, a feral jeer that reminded Sanji of the others unstable tendencies, oblivious to the gradual way the chef was growing flustered. "I mean, you _have_ seen yourself in a mirror right? The eyebrow is the eighth wonder of the world."

Sanji ran his fingers through his bang, despairing mentally when a few more strands fell sideways, briefly exposing both sides of his face, coating the space between his fingers and did his best to re-summon his inner fuckboy, and appear as non-ruffled as possible.

"Course I have. Seen myself in the mirror I mean. Perfection like this doesn't come easy, not that you know anything about it."

Not like the guy was a professional model, and pretty well known. Nope, not like that at all. 

Zoro snorted, the familiar jackassery that the blonde was used to, shining through.

"I'm pretty sure you're supposed to say that you woke up like that, blatant lie as it might be."

"Oh whatever, dipshit! Can we at least ditch this place, people are staring us."

Sanji wanted to leave, he hated the odd looks everyone were giving them, even though he semi expected it. The model\ _had_ made a huge commotion after all. He was not however, expecting Zoro to grab his hand, interlacing their fingers in a tight grip. 

"Come on, let's go." He stated, dragging Sanji behind him as the people parted, making way for the two teens.

The chef couldn't stop gaping at their hands, unable to feel anything other than distant admiration at the contrast of their skin tones and they way they complimented each other. It wasn't until several minutes later that he noticed them heading towards a secluded part of the city.

"Aren't you supposed wait until _after_ the date to try and get me alone, though I understand the temptation." He said, trying and failing to ignore the way his heart was beating. The city was near silent, and for a moment, the teen was certain that he could hear the organ pounding from _inside_ his chest.

"Shut up." Zoro responded, not looking at him. "I just didn't want everyone watching us when I did this."

Before Sanji could ask what, Zoro let go of his hand, dropping to a knee and presenting a flower. The model's face was deliciously pink, a floral pastel that spread all the way to the tips of his slightly pointed ears, golden orbs wide and earnest.

"Will you do me the honor, wait uh...will you consider--be my...um..."

The chef gawked in awe. It was rare to see the model as anything other than the epitome of graceful, when it came to battle, words, and trivial everyday activities. Sanji should know.

He'd spent so much time with the dumbass for the past two years, to the point that they practically lived together, and the entire time the pale male acted nothing less than the prodigy he was.

This was new. Very new.

And not all unwanted.

Sanji laughed, his heart melting into a large puddle of goo as he watched Zoro's face become progressively flushed, moving from the light pink to a burning red, bright enough to rival a ripe tomato. He had long discarded the hat and the blonde could admit that the other looked good with short hair. Real good. 

He fought the urge to run his fingers through it.

"Fine! Laugh it up! Fuck you too then!" The model sputtered rising up and shoving the flower under Sanji's nose. "Just take the damn rose." He growled, gritting his teeth and avoiding eye contact with the other.

Clearly he thought that Sanji was taking him as a joke.

What a _dumbass._

The chef leaned forward, trusting Zoro to catch him and was not at all surprised when he felt arms around his waist, tightening as the proximity between then grew close. He ignored Zoro's incredulous questioning and instead stretched up light on the tips of his toes, placing a small peck on the other's forehead.

The silence that followed was filled with so much shocked tension that Sanji was tempted to laugh out loud again. 

Instead he indulged his urges and reached an arm up, ruffling the green locks.

They were indeed a lot softer than they looked.

A _lot_ fucking softer.

He enjoyed the way Zoro's face went slack as he leaned into the weird embrace and the shorter male felt his pulse flutter as he watched the green headed teen close his eyes in momentary bliss.

This time, Sanji was the one who initiated things. He grabbed Zoro's hand.

"Here you brute, put the flower in my hair, since I can't see."

This time, he did laugh at the expression he received.

"I'm deadass, I mean, if we're going to be holding hands the whole time, where else am I going to put it? Besides, we'll be matching then." He gave a mischievous smirk. "It'll go with that red face of yours."

Zoro laughed and the blonde thought that it was a sound he'd be willing to die for if it meant hearing it again. It was a short, rough guffaw, the sound of someone who was trying something new and getting the hang of it.

The sound of surprised happiness.

"You and your dedication to the fucking aesthetic. Gotta say Curliecue, it's one of the things I don't hate about you." 

The model placed the rose in Sanji's hair, the stem digging into his scalp with a pleasurable pain. Instead straightening, Zoro only leaned closer, until their temples were touching.

"I suppose now," The swordsman started and the pale teen tried hard to focus on how his breath smelled like spearmint. "would be a good time to tell you that I don't have any actual plans."

The younger male grinned.

"Well I guess you can come on over then and I'll make you dinner, maybe a movie after? Either way Zeff'll be real happy to see you again, even if he pretends otherwise. Especially since we're dating and all now."

"W-wait, we're _dating_?" 

Sanji hid his grin behind a hand as he listened to Zoro's voice rise an octave with each word.

 _Seriously, he might_ actually _be fucking stupid._

Because if the model hadn't see the way the chef had been pining after him for literal fucking _months_ , then that was just how it fucking was.

Sanji certainly wasn't going to say anything.

He placed his hands in his jean pockets and swaggered off towards the apartment, not bother to look back and wishing distantly that he was wearing his normal suit when a thought struck him.

"Wait. You lied then didn't you? You didn't have any real plans right?" The blonde asked over his shoulder. "So you were just _that_ desperate to have me eh?"

"Shut up." Was the only response he got and the chef laughed, smiling softly when he felt a hand tease his own out of its pocket an into the confines of a dark palm.

"Yeah, yeah." Sanji replied. "I don't hate you either mosshead."


End file.
